“Preparing for the Red Hat Luncheon”
Sister insisted:
Tease your hair up
and by all means wear purple
I kept my hair down
and wore red
Only my panties were purple
(pronounced pay’-yen-tees):
I live a ‘felt’ life, as Henry James so eloquently
puts it
If I said, “James, choose:
Sister or me,”
James would say “Me,”
because he has wit
And if following up Sister said:
“James, choose: my [...]
Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
Preparing for the Red Hat Luncheon
Posted in Uncategorized on May 10, 2009 | 4 Comments »
No Hairy Pigs Allowed
Posted in Uncategorized on January 5, 2008 | 2 Comments »
I’ve been waiting to see a proper pig slaughtering for a good three months, since I first heard how it’s really done. First, you shave the skin. Latin American societies do not, my previous host father tells me over dinner, under any circumstances, shave their pigs before they slaughter them. I don’t ask how he [...]
Madame Balzac and Co.
Posted in Uncategorized on December 22, 2007 | 1 Comment »
This is Balzacian territory. The truth of this statement hit me once when I was standing in a bazaar waiting to purchase a NY hoodie (wrong colors, faulty zipper, but hey). His obnoxiously French ghost must have swooped in behind me and tickled me under the armpits. At least something goaded me on to push [...]
(American Fish)
Posted in Uncategorized on December 8, 2007 | 6 Comments »
The children of 7B are no longer known by such names as Sasha, Oksana, or little Dima. It is a source of pure glee almost as inexhaustible as the swaying HUGO BOSS bags or the half nude, half smiling Hallie Berrie who greets me each morning on my way to school struggling to get out [...]
Flossy!
Posted in Uncategorized on September 4, 2007 | 1 Comment »
Mary’s Vindication, Pt. 4 — All Is Revealed!
Posted in Big Mary, Erwin, TN, car, eldridge, electrocution, episcopalian, johnson city, kingsport, mannequin, pop culture, red eldridge, sensationalism, sparks, sparks circus, swinging mary, swinging pachyderms, unicoi county, what kind of idiot are you? on August 4, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Taken from page 23 of How To Hang An Elephant:
Well, clearly, the good citizens of Kingsport had found themselves a gun that they believed could do the job. Sparks’ dark thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Who was that–the sheriff? “Come in,” Sparks said nervously.
The door opened and in walked publicist [...]
Mary’s Vindication, Pt. 2
Posted in Big Mary, Erwin, circus, elephant, murderous mary on July 24, 2007 | 3 Comments »
Dear Snouts,
So far I’ve been through five states: Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, and North Carolina. I’ve seen a small chunk of the Appalachians and right now I’m in Erwin, TN, which, although it may not sound glorious, is probably one of the last surviving small towns. It’s located right in the center of [...]
